Patience is a fine thing, so is Jennifer Aniston. But there comes a point in life whilst waiting for an update on the much anticipated www.bantamsbu.co.uk website when an unbearable red decent of rage occurs behind the eyes. When will he update it? Will he update it? I’m going mad.
For those unfamiliar with the new site it encompasses various facts and opinions mostly cultivated by a madman who sits behind an odd pair of spectacles. He himself is usually encompassed in a red jacket, a slight fringe, beard and various stains – which we won’t talk about. Some people call him Banjaxed – I call him Sheila, and listen Sheila, if you don’t update your website soon you shall appear on this one for the next seven days…
I think I’ve made my point. But just for good measure…
Feel Free To Interrogate Him.
Cassette Boys Youtube Channel…
…Sponsored by Fanackasmacka. TM.
We all know the unfathomable Mr Woo loves his lady pleasing. With a little throwing up perhaps? …Maybe even making love in his best set of Matalan’s Own trainers, shoes, socks, vest, underpants, T-shirt, jacket, jeans, gloves, wooley jumper, long johns, armbands and hat are all part of his charm… Poor K*l*y…
You can’t deny however, that this young adonis has charm when it comes to night clubs.
I thought I’d ask the man himself if he could pull moves and score, no matter what song was being played. He said to me…
“This Worked!”…
“Oh great! Who did you try n’ Pull?”
The Unfathomable Mr. Woo strikes again!
On speaking to a Heatonian Virgin and saying –
“What you wanna do is shove your exhaust pipe up a dirty old bewer from a mucky brewery!”
On gazing into Peter Pan’s eyes and saying -
“Yes they are gorgeous – I’m having trouble keeping my c*ck out of his mouth!”
On speaking about a weekends camping –
“I’m gonna borrow RHQM’s kettle n’ piss in it!”
On telling about a recent gift –
“Captain Kidd gave me that – God rest his soul!”
On speaking to Spike –
“BLUETOOTH ME THAT YA *UNT!”
Answers on a postcard… and by the way it’s his birthday today, he’ll be in the King’s tonight with a bag full of Grouse’s.
During our time in Crete, the highlights of Greek daytime television included commercials like this…
And then the most horrible thing happened to my mind when the follow up was screened…







